- The Tantrum King: Dawson threw major temper tantrums when he was 3 that were so bad, people would often come up and ask if I needed assistance. He would scream, throw himself down, and lash out. It was quite the spectacle. I thought I somehow created a violent, spoiled child who would erupt if I didn't meet his every demand. It was so bad I was sure parents were thinking, "I am SO glad that's not MY kid!" Thankfully I didn't screw him up totally and by 4 years old, tantrums stopped and he has since been a very laid back kid expect for....
- It Tastes Like Barf: Dawson is a picky eater. He is not as bad as he used to be. When he was 7 and 8, every dinner was a problem. He hated everything I made. Even if it was something I made before and he liked it, it was now disgusting. He complained, he yelled, he refused to eat, and he stormed off into his room. This was also during the phase when he would write me letters. After one chicken and noodle meal debacle, he refused to eat and wrote me a note saying he liked it before but now it tasted like barf. In order to clarify his point, he drew a picture of a person throwing up in a toliet. It was frustrating and he wasted a lot of food. I hated dinner time. But as he got older, he began trying new things and now it isn't so bad. He's still picky, but dinner isn't a battle. Or maybe I stopped cooking barf and that solved the problem. :-/
- Bedtime Blues: Colton was the best sleeper ever. He never went to bed with a problem. It was awesome and we felt very accomplished as parents. And then one night he figured out how to climb out of his crib. The child who never once fussed about going to bed decided to reject bedtime altogether. Bedtime became a nightmare. For his safety, we transferred him to a toddler bed. He refused to go to sleep. Tears (by both him and I), screaming (I will admit, we both did a little of this), begging, and complete frustration followed for a good month before he started to go to bed without problems. Finally we learned that if he picked out a "sleeping buddy" that he would go to sleep without major problems (he was able to pick what stuffed animal he wanted to sleep with that night). I didn't think we'd ever have a night without a major battle but as with all bad stages, it worked out fine.
- Help! My Child is Possessed: We moved and had a baby in the same week back in April. Colton handled the transition well for about 2 weeks. Then the Colton I knew and loved disappeared and in his place was a demanding, fit throwing, screaming monster of a child. His first fit ever started a 2 a.m. when he decided he wanted to wake up and play. That's right, 2 a.m. This fit lasted for 2 whole hours. Two hours filled with screaming, crying, throwing things, hitting, etc... It was like my sweet little angel was possessed. And let me say, it is ENTIRELY unfair for a child to throw his first major temper tantrum in the middle of the night when coping skills suck for everyone. The following weeks included many time outs, discussions about not hitting or saying mean things, ways to get the "mad" or "sad" out, and more tantrums. Colton was a walking and talking time bomb. We didn't know when he would go off or what would trigger it. Sometimes he was upset at legitimate things like not getting what he wanted. Other times it was for ridiculous things like a cracker and a missing corner or the world was ending because the stupid marshmallow to-cereal ratio was wrong in his Lucky Charms. I didn't want to leave the house with him or have anyone over because well, it can be downright embarrassing when your child acts like a crazy person. This stage passed in about 6 weeks. He still has meltdowns every once in a while, but they aren't as severe and he is very good at telling us his feelings like "I feel frustrated" or "When you say no, that makes me sad."
- Poop Wars: Colton transitioned to using the potty without any problems. Then he decided not to poop. He thought pooping was awful so he held it. Because of this, he would run around screaming, "MY BUTT HURTS! MY BUTT HURTS" He would scream and yell and beg us to "fix" him. We told him to poop. We promised him toys if he pooped. We made him sit on the potty (that didn't work), we tried to make the bathroom fun, we sang potty songs, etc... We did EVERYTHING we could think of to make him go. It was by far the most frustrating stage of parenting I have ever experienced. Here was a child that was in pain and feeling miserable and we knew that once he pooped, he would be better. Then I let go. I stopped battling him. I put him back in diapers and never mentioned the word "poop." If he said he hurt, I loved on him and told him I was sorry. The word poop was not spoken in my house. We acted as if this didn't exist. Finally it stopped being a control issue. And he is happily pooping on the potty now. I learned that sometimes, I am the one who makes something a battle. By letting go, I let him take the lead, get over his fears on his own, and make the choice to be potty trained. And now I don't have to worry about having a teenager in diapers! :)
- Drama for Her Mama: Addison went through a phase in which she refused to let anyone even look at her without her screaming. She only wanted to look at, be held by, snuggled with, cared for, and played with by mommy. Most of this phase happened when Aaron was away which made life difficult since I had to care for two other children. If she wasn't in my arms, she was loosing her mind. This phase only lasted about a week or so. I didn't get much done during this time, but we survived. :)
- The Hunger Strike: Last week I started having Addison take a bottle in preparation for me going back to work. She refused. She screamed. And she went on a hunger strike. I cried and fretted. Aaron told me she would figure it out and to be patient. I freaked out and thought she would never take a bottle, I ruined her life, and that she would starve herself. (Yes, I can be a little dramatic.) After trying everything (different positions, different locations, and $50 worth of different bottles), we finally figured out a bottle she liked and how to feed her so that she'd take the bottle. She's not perfect at it and we are still working out the kinks, but it looks like this phase is ending and we are on our way to another parenting victory.
I just want to encourage other parents that when you are in the middle of chaos, when your child seems possessed, when you think that you have somehow screwed up your child permanently....this too shall pass. Whatever negative stage you are in, it is temporary. Whatever difficulties you are facing, you will figure it out. Patience and persistence works wonders. Keep reminding yourself that stages are not forever and that in time, you will look back and think, "Thank goodness THAT is over."
